Superduper Transtime illustrated my frustration about the desire of some (most often younger) to embellish situations and always be positive about everything. Granted, I can be quite cranky and cynical at times, and maybe I need some countersound. At the same I´ve been through too much to just deny myself whatever I´m genuinely feeling.

Much to the contrary, I´ve noticed a tendency in transguys to apologize everytime they want to let out a thought that isn´t necessarily rosy. Apparently, a lot of them are of the opinion that you should keep your critical abilities to yourself. They´re not an exception. We massively avoid (witnessing) confrontation as if it were by definition evil.

One of the recurrent topics these guys seem to deal with (in my immediate online environment) is getting respect for their new identity. They´ll silently undergo dysphoria while wondering whether they have the right to say something, as if they had commited some unspeakable sin by being transgender and owed people something.

Often they feel that they are at least (still) being accepted, and this is quite a sacrifice on the part of the family members. In return, they should just be patient. This makes me wonder whether the same kind of attitude exists towards the big healthcare organizations and the waiting lists.

If the prevailing mental mandate is one of “thou shalt not bitch“, I can´t see how we can strive to improve on these issues anytime soon. I wish these people became more vocal and learned that speaking up isn´t a weakness that flies in the face of being macho and bottling it all up.


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