I apologize for the amount of posts I´ve unleashed on the blog this month. I get an email every time a fellow blogger publishes something, so I sincerely hope I´m not snowing you in (blushing smiley face). In reality, I wish I could take this whirlwind of inspiration, this giant speech bubble, and send it to all gender therapists. FUS-RO-DAH!!!!
Sadly, that only works in virtual reality. So I need a different approach. Since my own problems (not related to transition directly) keep me close to home, my worn down keyboard does the job for me. By creating blog posts one by one, I can take apart overwhelming, anxiety – inducing trouble and deconstruct it into smaller bits. Also, it serves to validate how I feel.
Validation of how I feel is something that I get from the people around me – mostly – but for some reason I usually feel a lack of validation in a transition environment. It feels more like a businesslike engagement: talk to some people, get in, get out, get it over with. It´s an icky business, like something you find at the bottom of your shoe and need to scrape off with a twig.
There´s that. And there´s the fact that this whole construction is top-down. There is the big conferences, the Standards of Care, the approach of the clinics (not always according to the Standards of Care), then the gender team as a whole, then the therapist, and then me. I´m here at the bottom, signaling in Morse code -.-. .- -. / .- -. -.– -… — -.. -.– / …. . .- .-. / — .
Does it matter? Therapy in transition is often geared solely towards the patient, as if there were a problem with them, and not focusing on the elephant in the room: the problem within the procedure. Many feel resentment, patronized, disrespected in their capacity to reason as adults. It doesn´t seem like a good idea to just wave that aside and put a lid on it.