Today was my 1st 2nd Appointment with the gender therapist in Assen. The appointment itself deserves its own post, but right now I want to tell you guys about a Dillema I´ve been dragging about for a while now.
This Dillema started towards the end of my frustration with the VUMC gender clinic. I was tired of the condescension with which they seemed to approach their own patients, and looking for ways in which I could take some of my own power back. My witch hunt for the Do It Yourself Transition yielded resources for trans women, but none for trans men. I wrote to my GP.
I told her about my experiences with the VUMC gender clinic and attached a ton of information about hormone prescription in informed consent environments. She was moved by my story and temped to think about it, but the answer was still no. If however I could get my hands on hormones and start by myself, she said they would monitor my levels.
My search went on, and at some point I got a message from someone on Susans´ Transgender Resources, saying that there was this GP in the UK who would assess people and sent them hormones within the informed consent setting. I mailed to this GP and was about to send her the results of my blood testing when I came across the team in Assen.
During this time I had been experiencing a succulent side dish of other problems (severe PMS, bone fractures, CRPS) and deemed it wise to go to Assen. There at least I would have actual face to face contact with someone who could provide some feedback on my issues and help me along during the transition.
At the end of today, after the 1st 2nd appointment, I´m worried about sticking it out the Dutch way, again. I need for people to trust my judgement and to at least give me a chance to try hormones before they decide that I should “prove to be stable enough“. After all, hormones can prove to be difficult, but they can also prove to be very helpful. Why assume the worst?