I´m now five days on T plus shark-week. The reason I mention the latter is because I´ve experienced a gigantic peak in testosterone over the last couple of days followed by an equally steep dive, due to estrogen building. As of now, with the two types of hormones in my blood contradicting each other, my ability to concentrate has broken down a whole lot and I´m having some trouble thinking straight.
Nevertheless I´m going to try and make some sense out of this. In just five days an enormous amount of things started changing, too much to really cover all at once, so I´ll start chronologically and probably divide the story between two posts. The first thing is that I started HRT* a little bit earlier than planned. Initially, I had decided to wait for the results of the blood tests. Which would´ve been the most sensible thing to do.
But by the weekend I felt so depressed and crappy that I decided to take a risk. And to be honest I am very happy that I did, because – and I´m not exaggerating – the world changed on testosterone. I had androgel 25mg (a low dose) and applied it at night (yeah, I should have read the medical leaflet more closely). Within half an hour I was more awake than I had been on months. I could have run a marathon, if it weren´t for the CRPS.
I spend all night tidying up, and ended up taking some sleeping medication so I´d get some rest. The next morning, I felt more confident and at ease in my skin than I have ever been. I went to the supermarket, and nothing bothered me. Normally speaking, supermarkets aggravate me – people tend to look at me a lot (figuring out whether I am male or not – or maybe I just look interesting). Crowded places can also trigger some anxiety.
I was experiencing none of these issues. Which I find absolutely mind-blowing. The dramatic change really puzzled me – I felt so different. The depression, the mood swings, the lethargy, they were gone. In the days after that I experienced so much energy that I could not remain seated. I went mountain biking (carefully, considering not fully healed fractures), did some body-weight and some core training, weight lifting.
Suddenly, biking up a hill took no effort at all. In other physical changes, I noticed an increase in body temperature and sweating, and in the morning, a slightly increased heart-rate (but nothing alarming, an average 72 bpm), lowered after activity. Today, the results of my blood tests came in. Everything is fine. I am completely healthy, and off to a very good start. Which, considering the disaster stories I heard, is reassuring.
*Hormone Replacement Therapy.