I promise I won´t transform into a temporary blogger, one of those who only writes when they hit their two week, one month, two months, one year hormone therapy mark. This past week I haven´t written much, which is partly due to needing to adjust to testosterone, and partly to the drama with the gender clinic. I really needed a break from it for a while.
It´s hard to make a rock solid list of the things that have changed over the past two weeks, because I feel they still haven´t settled in. With all the emotional turmoil that the gender clinic ordeal brought with it, I can´t say for sure that how I felt was completely due to the hormones. Most probably I´ve been feeling an interaction of both my hormones (estrogen and T) as well as drama related anxiety.
Another thing that makes it difficult to indicate any stable changes is I became a little reckless and too impatient and switched to a normal dosage (I was on the lowest dose) without a consultation. This was kind of foolhardy and I would not recommend it to anyone. I did have a check-in with the doc after being on the low dose for over ten days, but did not get my blood tested.
Overall I would still say I am calmer, but I also have a shorter fuse (contradiction much). I have more dedication for things that I feel are worth the while, but less patience for things that seem unimportant or trivial – also with regard to people I am just not that interested in. For example when strangers want to be my friend on social media or in regard to some conversations.
I´ve been doing a lot of emotional regulation, been working out, am trying to put on weight (which is a daunting task, considering the hesitant relationship I have with food). Since upping the dose I have a little more trouble falling asleep, but when I sleep it´s fine. The good news is I probably found an endocrinologist, and I´ll have another check in two weeks.