This week has been… interesting. It´s my 3rd week on T and my first week of regular dose. My adventures on testosterone have not been predictable or normal in the slightest, which is unsurprising when you consider that nothing in my life really conforms to that standard. I felt great the initial few days, until shark week showed up and threw some estrogen in the picture.
After that I somehow feel like the estrogen stuck around, because I remember feeling less energetic and more emotional. The dysphoria and irrational worries (which I wrote about here) eventually drove me to start taking a normal amount of testosterone after two weeks. The first few days of that were pretty intense. I certainly had not expected the effect it would have.
I used 50mg of testosterone at once for two initial days (by which I mean I applied 50mg in the morning). It had a pretty catastrophic effect. I felt foggy, incredibly tired and unable to concentrate on anything. My anxiety increased and insecure, depressive feelings came back: my best guess was that my body was converting excess testosterone back into estrogen and I now had extremely low T.
I changed my strategy: I now took half the dose in the morning, the other half in the afternoon, and I can report on that as I´ve been at it for a week. I felt way better, the fog disappeared. Nonetheless I still am a little bit low energy, bad mood tends to prevail, and I have some trouble focusing even as I write this. However, I don´t want to randomly adjust my dose again.
Someone from the gender team offered to help, so this time my GP can call them, they will have more insight in what´s going on and are better qualified to interpret the results of the blood test. I´ll have that done in a week from now (the one month mark), and see if I stabilize in the meantime. After all, a temporary crash could also be due to my body adjusting.
Other changes that I´ve noticed this week is my voice dropped again (I lost it for a little while), I have a bit more muscle and vein definition (in my arms, mostly) and some growth downtown. I´m looking forward to see how I feel next week and maybe adjust my dose with the supervision of doc or endocrinologist, and hopefully feel more focused and energetic.