As you perhaps read in my post about female dysphoria, frequent rages are not something I am unfamiliar with. I saw them around me – first in my role models, and then caught myself imitating their behavior. Hormones play a big role in emotion too, so that any emotional turmoil can actually be magnified (and more difficult to escape from) by any dip or rise in estrogen or testosterone.
I don´t know if men experience more rages than women do. I´m pretty sure that´s a myth. Men and women just have different ways of dealing with it – while (some) men will be more tempted to go outside and look for a fight, or sweat it off doing some physically intensive work, women might feel more emotionally unreliable and be more prone to get into an argument or send angry email (and regret it later).
However there are plenty of women that will get in your face, as I personally experienced. And it can be good. If used properly, anger can help you say what you need, draw limits, or call somebody out on their behavior. Anger helps you indicate that people should not mess with you and gives you the drive to take some initiative and put your foot down. And we need that.
However when anger is emotional, and not directed towards a healthy purpose, it destroys us and people around us. When I am angry for a long time, I develop the same kind of deep wrinkle sported by the guy in the picture. Another thing that happens when I am constantly angry is I reinforce it. This post, written by Tadas of angermentor.com, explains why.
Every time I rage against something, I feel like I am in power. That´s a nice place to be in, especially with this intense life we are living, and something that I have very often lacked in my life. However it doesn´t last long, because contrary to what we like to think, having power in life pretty much means that you let go of you what you can´t control, and pour your energy elsewhere.
Defeating anger addiction takes so much will. It means being ready to give up, give up a useless struggle and stop trying to force yourself or others in this rigid, very demanding ideal way of being. Although I rarely get angry at others – I´ve seen what it can do – the anger addiction is quite heavy on my life and something I´ve been struggling with for a long time.