I´m feeling a little shitty today. Like, not terribly, but the kind of tired you get around fifteen, when you just want to hang out, eat chips, and watch a movie. On sunday I had a dear family member come over, and it was great. My vocal chords however got kind of angry at me, and so I am walking around today with sore throat (thankfully I had nothing planned).
People are starting to notice the drop in my voice, although few dare comment on it, or maybe it just seems normal to them. One of them thought that maybe I had deepened my voice intentionally. I did speak in a lower key before I started hormones, but back then, that was as far as I could go. I could never have reached the bass I now have in the morning.
I did not write about the physical changes that have been happening, and I have quite a few to report, among which a freaky increase in body hair – especially around the belly button. The blonde peach hair on my hands, arms, legs and upper lip is gradually darkening, although not nearly so much that it can be seen by others.
The patchy goatee that I had pre testosterone has not changed, but my jaw has squared out so much that I can shave and still pass without a problem, which is pretty great. After a grotesque affair in which shaving gel was flung around all inches of my room (pressurized can) I bought a shaving brush and soap, the same type my dad used when I was a kid.
My physical constituency has changed in that I now have less the body of a cheerleader and more that of a growing teen. My arms and belly are more muscular – to be fair I have been working out quite a bit (but never achieved the same results back when I was eh… “all natural”). I had gained some weight (7kg) but after a bad anxiety week, it dropped again.
As far as downtown goes things have changed too, and I am happy about that. Although the difference feels a bit funny from time to time, and I have to get used to the sensation, it does help with my dysphoria. Even though my libido has not changed much (it skyrockets from time to time and is absent at others), the experience is certainly different.