I´m Not a Feminist

gender

This might be the beginning of some of the most challenging posts I have written to this date. The reason for this is first: gender rights movements are a hairy subject – and second: it´s very difficult to talk about gender movements in non-binary terms. Intrinsically, they try to define groups, because you need an identity to fight for rights.

Naturally I´m curious what you think about this; I´m inviting you to discuss this with me in the comment section and leave your thoughts below. For the rest of these series, it might also be a good idea on my part to point out that I am not in denial about women´s rights (they definitely need to be there and they need representation) or anti-feminist.

However, I´m not so much pro-feminism either. In this post and the following in these series, I will try to explain why and attempt to explore (possibly with input from my readers) whether gender realities in our times are shifting and whether feminism really is the best tool to achieve cross-gender equality for everyone.

My main reason for not adhering to feminism is the reputation that precedes it. Feminism in itself is a very broad term, and though I understand that there are different waves of women´s rights movements (which I will try to explain later on), not everyone has gone to university and knows what the differences are (in fact I went and already forgot).

Additionally, feminism does not include men´s rights and I strongly feel that we need a movement in which men and women complement each other. By that I mean that in order for women to have gender equality, I feel that we should work on men´s equality too. They are not two different subjects: they are two sides of the same coin.

Third I feel that we are all aspects of both feminity and masculinity (none of us are completely bound by our assigned sex, regardless of cisgender, transgender, nonbinary or agender status). This ties into ideas of sacred feminity versus toxic masculinity, which again I will explore in a different topic.

As you can see the topic is really complex and layered, and it´s easy to lose yourself in an endless discussion about this without first deconstructing a few terms and looking at it from different angles. I will attempt to do just that in further posts, and I hope I won´t sound too boring or academic.

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13 thoughts on “I´m Not a Feminist

  1. I’ve been thinking a little about this for a little bit here already. You mentioned university so that means you’ve been through this stuff academically. I like to always come back to the fact that feminism can be divided up into a number of theoretical/philosophical perspectives (Anarchist, Liberal, Cultural, Existential, Radical, Marxist, etc.). Eventually these areas of thought find practical application through any variety of combined vectors like protests, waves, research, small social changes through greater awareness, whatever. The inclusion of men’s studies does occur I think and I may be remiss but I think it’s more rare for women’s studies researchers to be interested in that aspect of feminism. Anyways, I’m wondering if you feel that perhaps there needs to be a new overall approach (Gender Feminism?) added to theoretical sociology? Or do you think it’s creeping in to academia simply by virtue of the growing prevalence of gender positivism? Is it already being studied to some extend under some other guise? Just thnking out loud and wanted to add to the discussion already. Don’t feel you have to take any time to actually answer those questions… as I say, just wagging my tongue. 😀

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    1. Interesting input. I´m going to look into the perspectives that you mentioned and might use them in my next post. It´s true that gender studies shortly passed the revue while I was studying, but it wasn´t my major focus, so in the end I forgot a lot of things that were said.

      My main issue within including men´s studies within feminism is egalitarianism. Yes, it is true that the women´s rights campaign needs a strong focus in society, but a lot of things that are happening to women are tied into an imbalance that both women and men are experiencing. I do not believe in a divide where “men” as a group are somehow all responsible – I believe in societal responsbility (which could be tied into my social sciences background… or not).

      It follows that I would rather look at men´s studies in their own right. As complementary to women´s studies, not as a part of it. The problem we are seeing now is that we have feminism on the one side (with all its different distinctions within) and men´s movements which are sprouting from the earth on the other side, and they are often completely and utterly opposed to each other rather than working in congruence.

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  2. In the blue-collar world, feminism is a topic to be avoided. Though, in hushed tones, when our company is of our own, our opinions on the matter are cohesive: feminism, in its current state, is a crystallization of the princess complex. Keep in mind that “us” includes working-women – not the secretaries and desk-jockeys that support our work.

    Personal experience has taught me that feminists don’t want equality, they want preferential treatment. They want to be treated as women, while, commonly, embodying negative male stereotypes. In the working-world, equality is never given. Respect is only asked for by those whom are unwilling to prove themselves. More later, off to dig ditches. Not joking.

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    1. Louis,

      Thanks for your input – the thing with feminism is, that it´s very broad and has endless ramifications. Groups that fight for the rights of women have all my support, just as long as it doesn´t entirely obscure a whole other dimension of society – masculinity and men´s place in society. I intend to discuss this to more detail in further posts though.

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      1. Consider this: How often does feminism mention the, predominantly female practice, of exploiting males financial through feigns of affection? I’ve never heard it said once. Nor, while complaining of oppression, have I heard mention of the social benefits of being female: many jobs are simply handed to women, whether due to the perception that their gender makes them more stable, or because their lascivious bosses wish to sleep with them, or are misandrists; male co-workers offering to help with their workload for equally lascivious reasons; raises given without the slightest degree of merit. These workplace occurrences are more frequent in lower-class jobs though, of course.

        Feminists don’t order their own house, first, before commenting on the rest of the world. This, alone, is enough to laughing dismiss them as children.

        Keep in mind that, in arguing against the existence of feminism, I am not arguing against the promotion of equality. I simply do not see feminism as primarily pursuing is proclaimed objectives.

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  3. I´ve considered those things, Louis – which is why I will be dedicating one of my next posts to movements of men who have brought up arguments like these. Where we seem to have a difference in opinion is that I think “Feminists” as such don´t exist. Assigning a diverse community of people – men and women alike and who identify as “feminist” – to a monolothic category and then assume that they all think and behave the same, is bound to severely restrict any argument that can be made.

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    1. Ah, apologies for disengagement; wordpress didn’t warn me of your reply. Best to reply directly to one of my posts, so that I’m given the notification.

      I agree and disagree. As feminism can’t be responsible for every misandrist or lunatic waving their banner, nor can I be response for every superstitious human being degrading humanity’s intellectual progress; so I agree with you there. But. If feminism had core tenets in the neighborhood of: “Hey, don’t act like the women that generate the negative stereotypes of women.”, I could agree with you more. If they, as vehemently, pursued those women as they do men behaving inappropriately, I’d welcome them with open arms. But they don’t.

      Bias; sexism. And, if you ever find yourself entrenched in male culture, you’ll notice that most of us have stories of extremely hypocritical and irrational women. I’m certainly not saying men are incapable of behaving thusly – merely that I’ve, personally, seen it to be more common in women. Whether that is due to biological differences, the romantic component of my interacting women [I am regularly favored by women I interact with over long periods of time], or because women have a tendency to be spoiled far more than men and thus lack the motivation to develop integrity, I can’t say.

      What I can say is that, in the classically masculine, blue-collar culture, there’s far less room for fucking around: our work is clear-cut, on strict time-lines, and demands rationality, honesty, and close teamwork to get shit done. This culture foments a distaste, even a disgust, of any form of dishonesty, as it cuts most often results of a greater work-load for the rest of us.

      I’ve met women entrenched in this type of culture, and whom naturally have no-nonsense attitudes, and I pursue them romantically above any others. But most females I’ve met are simply spoiled at every turn, so its no surprise they lack integrity; the same happens to males that are treated that way. Hell, I have stories of women competing to appease me, so I’m familiar with the arrogance derived from being doted upon.

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      1. WordPress doesn´t allow for infinite replies. It has a rather strange system where you can reply up to three times and are then forced to create a new one… hence this strategy.

        I agree with some points you make, particularly the one about women not being too overtly criticized within feminism, and this is exactly why I have started writing these series and will write more posts about this topic in the (near) future.

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  4. Ah. You may be able to alter that replies setting in the “discussion” tab. Don’t know.

    But ya, I’ve seen some women that put most men I’ve known to shame. Ohh, they got a way about them. Lacking the physical prowess that men do, in the physically demanding fields I’ve seen them, encourages acumen aswellas as fitness – whereas men often rely primarily on brute strength. And they have this sort of “fuck-you; I’ll do it myself” attitude that I fucking love – presumably because they know that most men are only nice to them to fuck them, and also have the self-respect to take care of themselves. Fuck.

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