It´s not easy, going off the beaten path. Considering the wealth of different people who stumble across my blog, that might mean anything. It might mean that you are struggling to kick old habits that no longer serve you. Or maybe you have health issues and are determined to survive them. Or maybe you are transitioning, leaving behind your old self.
You might face hardship and a lot of misconceptions. People might not understand why you are transitioning at all. Or if they do, they might not understand why you refuse to do so according to existing norms and protocols (such as happened to me). Some might accuse you of taking an easy route out, and others, shake their head at your foolhardiness.
Let me tell you something. Transition or not – going your own way is a demanding endeavor. There is nobody there to tell you which way you should go. Nobody will be holding your hand. And there is no knowing where you will end up. I think this scares people, and rightfully so. If this does not scare you, you might be foolhardy after all.
Is this a reason to give up on yourself? To give way even when you feel that you should be barking back? No. There are days when I think of all the daunting and terrible obstacles on my path. From mental health issues – trying to fend off depression, anxiety and PMDD – to transitioning outside of the protocol, to disputing the landlord on the sky-high rent.
I linger on those obstacles sometimes. And then I start dissociating. Because they seem so overwhelming, all of them together. The challenges seem to pile up upon themselves, rising sky-high, towering over me, as if to say “don´t even try“. They make me want to just give up, and sit on the path wallowing in my despair, wondering what do next.
That is, until I take a deep breath of air in, and feel my presence expand. When I stop focusing on all those tremendous monsters that are waiting for me outside – when instead I look inwards. As Yoda wisely said: “size matters not. Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you? Hmm? Hmm. And well, you should not.
For my ally is the Force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. Its energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings are we, not this crude matter. You must feel the Force around you; here, between you, me, the tree, the rock, everywhere, yes.“. So find the force within yourself. You are bigger than the obstacles you face.