My life has shifted from being all about transition, to being all about finding out who I am and what I want in life. Whereas previously, I was counting down the days to top surgery, pretending that time did not exist, now I am too busy trying to figure out how to live up to my potential.
Whereas I still want (and need) top surgery, it has absolutely ceased to be my Priority Number One. Priority Number One, now has become finding out how I can be close to people in this life. How to communicate beyond the awkward ways in which me and my grandmother communicated.
In order to find rich communication, I figured, I needed to go someplace where people are looking to find meaning, to see and acknowledge the beauty of the soul in one another. Since I have no idea where to find it, I have started a quest to find a place of belonging.
The first place that came to mind is the church. And so I went to church. Although my parents had no faith altogether, and my grandparents were protestant, my first instinct was to go to the Catholic church in the city, which has a very rich and warm interior compared to the protestant church.
The church is in a very strange location. Though the other churches in town stand on their own, towering above the skyline, this church is smacked right between a fashion store and the shopping mall. You´d never think it harbored three marble archways on columns, and a broad aisle.
Not having the faintest clue about service or mass, I accidentally sat through the whole thing twice. Which was really no bother. The second time, there was singing (in Latin), and I understood the analogy they were telling much better. People were very friendly to one another.
For now, it´s too early to tell if church is the right place for me or not. I´ve decided to visit several churches at least a couple of times to see if I can make a connection of some sorts. Next Sunday, I´ve decided on visiting the Anglican church, who are having a potluck dinner after the service.